Most recently I received a text from an associate of mine who was explaining that they were sad. When you have not talked to someone in a couple of weeks, your mind starts to wonder what they may be sad about. I did not know if it was because of a family member or if it was something that personally happened to them. When I asked them what was the reasoning for being sad, their reply was “I want to be in a relationship.” As weird as I thought it was for them to express this to me, I immediately felt sympathy for them. We have all been through that stage to where we want someone to be a part of our lives. As hard as it is to admit it, being single makes us feel as if there is a void inside. As humans, it is natural for us to want to interact with people. We all want to be able to have someone that we can talk to as well as be able to feel free with. Unfortunately, that does not happen over night. Until it does happen, you have to embrace being single.
Have you ever seen those movies as to where someone is married to their spouse for a long time, but still feel empty? It seems as if they do not know the person that they have been with for the past couple of years. What about those movies as to where there is infidelity in the relationship, and the other person stay. These scenarios do not just happen in movies, but rather in everyday life as well. Why does it seem like people stay in relationships that are not working out? While we are trying to fill a void in our life, we are actually tearing ourselves down. This is why it is so important to love and understand your sense of self.
Insecurities are built off of not embracing the act of being alone. What is the point of being in a relationship if you are so afraid of an individual leaving? Relationships take a team effort in making it work. If you have not spent enough time alone and learning yourself, how can you have time to learn someone else. There is nothing wrong with taking yourself out on a date. Do not wait for someone to treat you like royalty. Treat yourself like royalty so that when someone does come around that wants your attention, your standards will be set. You cannot become emotionally attached to anyone that comes around. That is like putting yourself on McDonald’s dollar menu. You do not hold any value if you are so accessible to everyone that makes you feel good.
Although dating apps are a big trend right now, they can also take a big hit on us emotionally. Do not get me wrong, I am not bashing dating apps. In fact, I have met some really cool people from using them. However, they can be a hindrance to us appreciating being alone. As humans, we all want to feel something. We have a desire to feel wanted and accepted. This is where dating apps become negative. With just a swipe to the left or right, we automatically become easy access to someone. Instead of getting to know an individuals, we base everything off of their looks. Because we find them attractive, we make that person out to be something that they are probably not. This person becomes the “lady or man of your dreams.” We make that person become everything that we desire, even if it is just for that night.
When I decided to move to Colorado, I was scared but happy. I was happy to finally be alone. I wanted to take some time out to not have anyone so accessible to me. As nervous as I was about going to a place I never have been before, I knew it was the right thing to do. When I moved to Charlotte, I hated the fact of being alone. I did not know how to deal with being in a big apartment by myself. A lot of nights I cried, because I felt so empty. Moving to Colorado was a second chance for me to embrace being alone, and it feels good. I cannot give anyone my all if I cannot give myself all that I have to offer.
Love is real and love does exist. It has to start off with you first. You cannot give love if you do not have it in you. The only way that you are going to get it is if you trust the process. Everything happens with due time. Embrace being alone. Embrace the unknown. Everything in life is temporary, and happens for a reason. Until you understand the meaning of being alone, you will never understand the happiness and joy that comes with it.