Being Afraid To Love!

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When you think of the heart, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Many of you will say love, or may even think of the color red. Love is something that holds much significance, It can also be one of the scariest things to do as well. Love can be your best friend, or your worst enemy. It all depends on how you perceive it. As we all may know, being afraid of something is a learned behavior. No one is born with fear, but it is something that we develop over time. Love is one of those things. We choose our definition  of love based on our experiences. Have you ever been around someone who seems to not let anyone into their life? It seem as if they always have their boundaries up. This person may come off as being bitter, and angry. It does not matter who comes into their life, they always have an excuse as to why they should not let their guard down. This is because they dwell on love being a disappointment based on past experiences.

While thinking about love, I asked myself “What molds our experiences with love?” The first place that we experience love is actually inside our Mother’s womb. When a baby is inside of a healthy womb, you often see the woman have little to no complications during her pregnancy. She usually births a strong and healthy child. Once the baby is born, it is up to the parent/s to show the child the true meaning of love. Whatever the parent does to symbolize love, the child will remember that for the rest of their life. For example, if a parent shows love by only giving the child materialistic things, then when the child gets old enough to court, they will seek out people to buy them gifts. This is because that is all that they have known love to be.

The same thing with sexual abuse. This is why many predators seek out children rather than adults. They know that if they can tell them things like they are doing it because they love them, then the child will be more likely not to tell anyone about what is happening. Such negative connotations about love is very unhealthy. This is why I hate when parents tell their children I beat you because I love you. You are opening up an opportunity for a child to associate physical abuse with love.

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Many people are afraid of love because they do not know what love is. In today’s society it is so easy to mix love with lust. Love is a  word that we throw around so freely without thinking of the true meaning. When you love someone, it is more than just accepting someone for their flaws. It is about understanding and appreciating the growth you can make with someone. No matter if it is a friendship, relationship, or family member, love is about giving and taking. If you cannot learn anything from this person, then you cannot love them. Love teaches lessons that can be used throughout life. This is one of the most valuable lessons to understand about love. Even in the Christian faith, the word love appears in the Bible 310 times. It mentions the importance of even loving your enemies.  Loving your enemies can teach you lessons that you would not be able to learn anywhere else. It can teach you strength and integrity. When you love someone who do not wish good will on you, then you are showing maturity and wisdom on your end. You should never let anyone energy affect your daily life.

Living in fear is one of the worst things you can do. When you live in fear you have already premeditated on a situation that has yet to happen. A lot of times, we can dwell on things until they come to past. If you continue to think that love is going to fail you, then it will. If you think the best of it, even if it does not workout, you will be able to see what happened to make a better decision for next time. There is a blessing is every lesson. We cannot always base our relationships on people that we have dealt with from the past. if we do, then we will continue to walk in the unknown and miss out on opportunities because of fearing love.

LOVE DOES NOT HURT! If you are currently in a relationship with someone and you are feeling emotionally drained, that is not love but rather a lesson. It is a lesson to teach you what love is not. In those situations, it is hard to let go. This is why we seem to go in circles and date the same people. We have yet to learn the lesson that we were supposed to learn the first time. Once we finally get the lesson, that is when we are able to move on and move forward with our life. The fear of being hurt again, keep us in bondage causing us to run back into the same lies, because we want to fix what was hurting us in the past.

The concept of love is a beautiful thing. its is something that we should never fear. It is here to mold us, to correct us, and to nurture us.Without love, we cannot exist. It is what helps us to live to our fullest potential. Do not fear love but rather embrace it, because it is what we need to live a full life, and to maximize our potential.

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